A Year of Being Brave (2014 in Review)

Focusing on one thing in 2014, Being Brave, was surprisingly challenging.  Its easy to make lists of resolutions and even easier to let them fall by the wayside - but focusing on one goal and trying to apply that attribute to all aspects of my life, I personally found extremely challenging. And very changing - in a good way! If nothing else, it made me more present to my world and very importantly, my reactions and connections to people and situations. Holding back out of fear can be a survival tactic - but it can also be a crutch, one I know I was relying on too much. Learning to dive in and take some risks at my (relatively) young age has been one of the more important life lessons I've learned so far. Focusing on Being Brave has opened up room for development in other areas as well - because I understand how utterly terrifying it can be to Be Brave I think I've become more empathetic, more patient, more understanding. 

Focusing on Being Brave really grounded me back in myself. I used to be known as as the "nice one" (I even won an award for being most smiley once) I was always ready to jump in and help and (I would like to think) I was a good listener and a generally kind person. I got burned a few times which caused this introvert to put up some really huge walls and it also turned me into a more selfish, cynical, and hardened version of myself. A version I really wasn't digging. Being brave pulled me out of a lot of that (still a work in progress) It reminded me to be courageous enough to be more vulnerable. This blog has provided me a platform to really test my bravery and vulnerability - putting it allllll out there in the interwebs for everybody to see and judge. For that, and the soul bolstering it has provided, I will be forever grateful.

So this coming year I've decided, in honor of Being Brave, to pick one thing to focus on. (Obviously I plan to still work on Being Brave because I'm pretty sure that's the work of a lifetime...) All of the empathy that blurbled up to the surface from this braveness led me to really consider what impact I'm having on those around me. And I asked myself a few hard questions - Am I actively contributing to making others' lives better? Am I becoming trapped in the scarcity complex (there isn't enough for everybody mindset)? Would I want to be friends with me? Am I leaving things better than when I arrived? You get the idea.

And after some soul searching I realized that 2015 is the year I need to focus on Being Generous. Generosity is such an all encompassing idea and can really be applied everywhere. I think I need to focus on Generosity towards myself as much as I need to focus on Generosity of spirit, time, talents etc. Before I was afraid I had nothing of worth to give. But Being Brave has shown me that's 100% not true. I have a lot to offer myself and those around me and my little corner of the world. And holding it back out of fear or laziness is no way to live.

I think Generous people are kind, they are strong. They understand when to give and when to hold back - because they are gentle with themselves as well. This is a sometimes crushing world we live in, and a little bit more giving of ourselves can only make things better. And disciplining myself to think generously will only make me better - me first is not the person I want to be and its definitely not the type of parent I want to be or the type of child I want to raise. (Raising a child...eek...I'm going to need all of that learned Bravery!)

Last Christmas Eve snuggles just the 2 of us!